A new year; a new challenge

photo by Hans Eriksson

New year, new resolutions

As the  calender flips from December to January, we are filled with new resolutions, new plans, new goals, and new challenges. It's a new year. A time of new beginnings and (re)newed dreams. It's easy to take stock of your life and set ambitious new starts: I'll start exercising more. I'll start eating better. I'll start spending more time with people and less time with the screen.

When the calendar flipped from 2014 to 2015 I was in Sweden. So not only was I thinking about new starts for the new year, I was also out of my regular routine and rhythms. I've found that it's common to step back and look critically at your life when you're out traveling, away from home and the daily grind. It is only natural, therefore, that as I cheered in 2015 in a different country that my introspection about my life was a little more intense than usual. This is a good thing. A really good thing.

image courtesy of https://simplyphenomenal.wordpress.com/

Outside of my comfort zone

Sitting outside of my comfort zone, I was able to look in and get a little perspective on what is currently making me happy; what is frustrating me; and what I want to change. It turns out that my comfort zone consists of two small people and the boat that we call home. Home and kid maintenance (and the minimal husband maintenance that I provide) take up nearly all my time. Freja will be four in March, so, if we don't count the time I was pregnant with her, I've spent the last four years of my life channeling nearly all my energy into my one role as mamma.

Whoa. Back pedal. I always knew, always, that when my kids were young, I'd stay at home with them. I never planned my dream wedding or dream job, but I did plan on staying home with young kiddos. So, in the grand scheme of my life, I'm exactly where I've always wanted to be. But four years is a long time. A really long time to sing the "Wheels on the Bus" every day.

The new plan

So what's next? I want to push myself out of my comfort zone of mom-hood and challenge myself a little. Is that in the form of a job? A writing challenge? Back to school? I'm not sure, but I'm feeling the call of something different. I'm limited, of course, by time and money. Someone's gotta take care of the rug rats. But other moms inspire me to be a full-time mom and also pursue my own passions.

I tend not to make tangible resolutions - ones that can be quantified and ticked off in a box. Apparently a glutton for punishment, I tend to look to the broader resolutions, along the vague lines of "live better." This year I feel like I've gone a bit further than a simple "live better" resolution. I feel like I'm asking myself to fundamentally look at my life, at the direction it's going, and change that. My life. Not my family's life. My life.